It’s my birthday tomorrow and big plans for the evening involve opening a bottle of wine and watching Michelle Ryan a Hollywood blockbuster on PPV. LeBron’s got a birthday coming up as well, and as CBS Sports’ Gregg Doyel explains, “it’s the latest example of how removed LeBron James is from reality, doing things because he can — without ever asking himself if he should.” To fair, Doyel isn’t really considering the extreme lengths any rational person will go to avoid partying with Chris Bosh.

Reading from The King’s brochure, I can tell you that this “event will attract Athletes, Models, and Musicians. As well political figures, socialites, tastemakers and affluent leaders from various industries including Art, Business, and Finance.”

I can also tell you that “this happening will consist of a A-List crowd of multicultural, savvy trendsetters, and jetsetters that reinvent and set the tone for a chic lifestyle.”

Because that’s what I think of, when I think of LeBron James. I think of a savvy trendsetter, and a jetsetter who has reinvented and set the tone for a chic lifestyle.

Also, I think of a jerk who throws himself a million-dollar birthday party on South Beach, celebrating the late-December birth of his lord and savior.