Former Foreigner vocalist Lou Gramm has begged out of his postgame concert at the Dell Diamond tomorrow night, citing viral laryngitis. The Round Rock Express who would have you believe that Lou has his own “personal ENT” (who doubles as guitar tech, presumably), have wasted no time in booking the excruciatingly dull Bob Schneider as a replacement.

Without wishing anything but a full and complete recovery for Mr. Gramm (shown in more contemporary form here), I have the following thoughts ;

a) For a community that prides itself as being tough on crime, it’s amazing that Williamson County would allow Schneider to take the stage after Pacific Coast League fans have been drinking for 3+ hours.   Do Nolan and Reid Ryan really want to be responsible for thousands of tanked-up motorists hitting the highway at exactly the same time (ie. seconds after the public address announcer says, “Ladies & Gentlemen, BOB SCHNEIDER”)?

b) I hate to question something as sensitive as the condition of Lou Gramm’s throat, but given the singer was also booked to appear at New York’s Belmont Racetrack today, isn’t it possible that he took a glance at his tour itinerary and realized, “hey, that’s slightly fucking insane.  Maybe I should just take the weekend off.”

c) if nothing else, now we know exactly what Bright Light Social Hour will be doing during a 4th Of July Weekend in a few years. Besides sucking.