The esteemed Backstreets subscriber who supplied a link to the above video clip shall remain nameless, mostly for his own protection. But the question remains, how do we reconcile the varying degrees of alleged sexual sophistication expressed by noted social commentator Will Leitch? Is he the savvy customer who lost his virginity at the age of 8, or the Men’s Health contributor whose erectile dysfunction is blamed on his girlfriend’s sexual history (ie. she has one)?

I’ve already weighed in on the latter instance. As for the former, it really isn’t that shocking or rare a circumstance. Thousands of young people have been humped by someone in a Fred Bird costume, and I’m amazed no one has mentioned it on a television chat show until now.