(EDITOR’S NOTE : From time to time, Bronx baseball executive Randy L. stops by CSTB to weigh in on the important matters of the day. Earlier this week, New York Yankees COO Lonn Trost addressed the club’s attempts to stop StubHub from trading in premium Yanks tickets at discount prices, comments that Hardball Talk’s Craig Calcaterra considered, “snobby”. After reading Calcaterra’s column, Randy offered, no, he demanded to have his say – GC)

Greetings and a very happy Chinese New Year to all members of the Yankee Universe. With pitchers and catchers reporting to Tampa this week, I’d hoped that shitty, barely read or updated blogs like this one would be focusing on baseball matters, but apparently the genius entrusted with running it into the ground knows more about what drives traffic than I do. But I digress. As you probably heard, my colleague, the very handsome and accomplished Lonn Trost attempted to spell out for some slovenly members of the Fourth Estate exactly what this club’s intentions were when it comes to protecting you, the loyal Yankee fans, from the predatory practices of a company like StubHub. Sadly, Lonn’s words were badly twisted around by a journalist seeking to advance some sort of class warfare agenda that might fly at a Bernie Sanders rally, but less so when dealing with savvy readers like yourself.

“The problem below market at a certain point is that if you buy a ticket in a very premium location and pay a substantial amount of money. It’s not that we don’t want that fan to sell it, but that fan is sitting there having paid a substantial amount of money for a ticket and [another] fan picks it up for a buck-and-a-half and sits there, and it’s frustrating to the purchaser of the full amount . . . And quite frankly, the fan may be someone who has never sat in a premium location. So that’s a frustration to our existing fan base.”

OK, that all sounds pretty reasonable to me. But in the sick, cynical view of Craig Calcaterra, the following is considered a normal reaction to crowd-control realities :

“Mr. Trost: how often do you know how much the person next to you paid for their seat? And, more significantly, what about a person who doesn’t sit in premium locations might ‘frustrate’ your rich season ticket holders who do?”

Shall I go down a checklist? Hygiene. Manner of dress. Abuse of alcohol and other substances. Uncouth behavior not limited to attempting to engage in sexual congress. Are we expected to apologize for trying to maintain separate pricing tiers? Should this franchise simply allow every drooling patron who’d otherwise be pacified with a $15 Tommy Bahama Marlin Bar Classic Citrus Mojito to sample from my personal wine cellar at NYY Steak?

Of course not. I know there’s fantasists reading this who’d like to believe once we arrive at the ballpark, we’re all equal, but there’s always been a hierarchy in place. Sure, there’s a level of creature comfort afforded our premium seat holders your bleacher denizens can only dream of, but do you really believe Brian Cashman is allowed to use the same Executive Washroom as myself? There’s not enough penicillin in the Tri-State area for  that happen.

While our crosstown rivals operate in a venue that spreads food poisoning to the paying customers and uniformed personnel alike, the New Yankee Stadium is a glittering, spotless monument to what can be achieved if you strive for greatness (or,  in the case of Hank and Hal, you win the genetic lottery). Maybe socialism is making a comeback on college campuses and amongst the sports blog intelligentsia but my incredibly expensive shoes are firmly on the ground in a little place I like to call THE REAL FUCKING WORLD.

Legends & Champions Suites seating for Opening Day are on sale now. Make Ticketmaster Great Again.

The Randy L.