From the New York Post’s Laura Italiano :

Porcine pornmeister Al Goldstein is off the hook for allegedly stealing $54 worth of colitis-related books from a Barnes & Noble last year.
A Manhattan judge yesterday dismissed shoplifting charges against the former Screw magazine publisher after defense lawyer Charles DeStefano said the books were for Goldstein’s sick wife, that Goldstein himself is not well, and that a trial would become a “circus.”

The last time he was on trial ” in 2002 for harassing his secretary ” the lithium-popping Goldstein came to court in prison stripes, threw a chair at his judge and called zany actor Al “Grandpa” Lewis as a character witness.

Goldstein, 69, suffers from diabetes, sleep apnea and depression, and had turned down a plea deal for 90 days in jail. The down-on-his-luck ex-publisher is currently writing for

Let it be noted that I’m already on record as stating Al deserves a permanent Get Out Of Jail card.