No sooner was Evander Holyfield’s heavyweight bout with Francois Botha scrapped on account of poor ticket sales in Uganda —surely Kamala could’ve helped the undercard? — than the man Charley Steiner once called “the 50th best boxer (in Georgia)” confirmed he and wife no. 3 Candi would appear alongside Dr. Phil to discuss the state of their marriage.  In the considered view of the Guardian’s Keith Mitchell, no good whatsoever would come of this public exchange (and apparently, Holyfield eventually agreed)

While the battering a professional boxer hands out to his wife clearly is no joke, how can anyone take seriously the peddling of supposedly deep psychological problems in front of a retired shrink and a studio full of drooling ghouls, not to mention those hypnotised stay-at-homes who can’t find the remote?

Holyfield (above, right) and Candi could barely contain their lust to join the celebrity queue which leads on to redemption, global rediscovery and rebranding, an exercise in commercial crassness made possible only by the willingness of millions of fools to watch it.

The “Verse of the day” on Holyfield’s website yesterday was: “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.” (1 John, 4:18).

How true. Evander has been so diligent in his pursuit of perfect love down the years he has managed to father 11 children by three different women, driving out fear at a rate that would scare the devil himself.