Ryan Brown helpfully alerted me to reports of the Grizzlies’ Hamed Haddadi (above) Wednesday arrest on domestic assault charges. Goolnaz œAsal Karbalaeinematmoeeney alleges that Haddadi choked her upon discovering her talking with another man, while the Iranian center offered a far more unusual explanation to Memphis police. According to the Memphis Police report on the matter, Haddadi claims Karbalaeinematmoeeney suffered facial injuries when he deflected a soap dispenser she tried throwing at him. Prior to this, Haddadi told Police his girlfriend “fell out of bed.”

Though Haddadi is said to have told authorities that English wasn’t his first language, one item stands out clear as day in the affidavit ; asked what provoked the physical altercation, Haddad said he and Karbalaeinematmoeeney were about to have sex, yet there was “an dispute over the sexual position.”