While Buster Olney correctly surmises that Used Car Salesman Bud had to be front and center at Miller Park this weekend ” as the person who apparently inherited a germinating steroid problem in the mid-90s and probably asked didn’t ask the right questions at the right time,” the Commissioner witnessed his beloved Brewers losing ground to Cubs last night with an 8-4 loss to the Giants. Barry Bonds was 0-4 on the evening, those sparing Selig the awkwardness of watching the Sultan Of Surly draw closer to Hank Aaron’s career total of 755 home runs. Neither the Commish nor the Sultan had much to offer the assembled press corps, a scenario that had the SF Chronicle’s Gwen Knapp asking, “has it ever occurred to anyone that they might, instead of adversaries, be the same man?”

Before the game, a reporter asked Bonds whether he had ever hit three in Milwaukee. “You ever seen me do it?” Bonds said. When the reporter said no, Bonds replied: “Neither have I.”

He shooed away reporters after the game and didn’t say much else beforehand, although he did borrow a camera and take pictures of the people taking pictures of him, a little game he has played with the media in the past.

Selig’s shtick with reporters was only slightly different. He replied to an annoying question by saying “No, but thank you for asking.” (Some cheeky soul wanted to know whether the commissioner left a ticket for George Mitchell, the former senator conducting baseball’s investigation into performance-enhancing drugs.)

When someone asked whether legal complications might prevent him talking to Bonds (whom he said he hasn’t spoken with in a very long time), Selig said: “Now that’s an interesting question. You’ve asked me a series of interesting questions tonight. No, I’m allowed to do anything I want to do.”

Well, apparently, not everything. Someone asked whether Selig thought Bonds’ record, assuming he passes Aaron would be legitimate, untainted by reports that he used steroids and other doping agents. His reply smacked of serious limitations.

“I’m not. … Let’s. We won’t get into that,” he said. “We’re here to watch to see whether he does it. And whatever else happens, I’m not passing judgment on it. Nor should I.”

We’ll take that as a non-yes.

In the midst of all the Barry Hatred, the folks at Screw Everbody.com have an uninspired t-shirt they’re hoping to flog (it certainly doesn’t hold a candle to this one), but whom am I to quibble with Chris Russo’s sartorial choices?