I picked Shearwater‘s homecoming set at the Mohawk Thursday evening over John McCain’s acceptance speech at the Republican National Convention, and while some will question whether this was a responsible move for a concerned citizen like myself, I was very confident the live blogging skills of You Go Live In Utah‘s Amanda Cobra would sufficiently convey the gravity of the event.

9:13 – McCain looks as happy to be there as I am to be watching this. That kind of makes me like him. Also, they just showed a woman that looked like Suzi Quatro sobbing in the audience. I should have made a macro for “WTF?!?!?!?”

9:15 – Ummmmmmm, green screen? AWESOME! Please tell me that they are gonna do some sort of Sin City treatment on him. Maybe he’s gonna re-enact the moon landing.

9:28 – CNN was better at finding the black guy in the crowd last night because they showed him at least a dozen times. I guess he had to go home early. So far, minority sightings: McCain’s adopted daughter.

9:32 – It’s always weird when any politician does the “I fight for Davey Smith from Palo Alto who has rickets……” and everyone cheers. It always makes me think that Davey has a bunch of Myspace friends. Like Tila Tequila or something. I hope someone out there is fighting for Tila Tequila. I’m sure she’s gonna have a lot of medical bills one day.

9:44 – “We’re going to send money to countries that don’t like us very much”

WTF?!?!?! We’re bribing France? Also, he’s now stopping on every fifth word. Someone reboot him.

9:46 – He’s talking about alternative sources of energy such a wind, nuclear, solar etc. There’s a sea of cowboy hats which indicate the Texas delegates. They aren’t clapping.

9:49 – Two black people. They aren’t clapping. Could be press.

9:52 – Someone has a sign that says “STRAIGHT TALK” which got the theme song from the Dolly Parton movie of the same name stuck in my head. I think she basically plays a version of herself who somehow ends up getting a talk radio advice show in New York City where she shoots from the hip. Sorry, McCain has lost me.

9:54 – Now Obama is basically a pussy because he doesn’t have POW scars. Awesome.