This blog’s deep affection and respect for Long Island is a matter of record. With cultural exponents including (but not limited to) Howard Stern, Joey Buttafuoco, Joel Rifkin, The Good Rats, Wayne Chrebet, Mike Cameron impersonators, indie baseball teams that hire John Rocker (and Pete Rose Jr.), Lindsay Lohan’s Dad, the Nihilistics, Lee Ranaldo, Dennis Potvin (Sucks!), Hal Hartley,, Dr. J. tearing it up at the Nassau Mausoleum, etc…What’s Not To Like About Long Island?

Well, how about this?

Seriously, between this nasty bit of gonad grabbing and the Island’s relatively recent episodes of pine cone sodomy (as recounted by the lovely and charming Amy Fisher), the question has to be raised ; what’s up with the male teen jocks of L.I.? If this stuff was consenual, fair enough (said in measured Bill O’Reilly-esque tones), but there does seem to be a pattern emerging.