As you probably know by now, the Pacers’ Stephen Jackson got into a bit of trouble last week at an Indianapolis strip club. Shots were fired. Punches were thrown. And with columnists and sports yack hosts across the country piling on Jackson ever since, a reputation that was seriously damaged in Auburn Hills, is now irreparably fucked.
That’s not enough for ESPN Radio’s Eric Kuselias, who took to the airwaves today to announce what he’d do if he were prosecuting Jackson’s case. Kuselias proudly announced that he’d demand Jackson plead guilty to a reckless endangerment charge, rat out (the host’s words) his teammates and serve 6 months prison time in the off-season. Were Jackson to turn down the plea agreement, “you’re going away for ten years,” chortled Kuselias, who’d charge Jackson with attempted murder.
Much as I can appreciate a Bristol, CT based mouthpiece looking out for the best interests of Indianapolis’ citizens, what’s with the bizarre, cackling zeal for seeing Stephen Jackson imprisoned? Can we expect the same tone from Mr. Sports Bash the next time his colleague Michael Irvin gets pulled over?
Eric insisted that after his mythical district attorney succeeded in locking up Jackson, he’d run for public office, having sent a strong message that celebrities can’t skate on his watch.
Just for the sake of variety, I would like to hear some radio programs on ESPN where the hosts fantasize about becoming firemen, cowboys, deep-sea fishermen, brain surgeons or world-class chefs. I doubt such broadcasts would be very illuminating, but at least we’ll be spared the sound of Eric Kuselias beating off.