Misprint Mag’s highly subjective coverage of the Austin nightclub circuit has won prior praise from this corner, but their latest issue might finally be the one to inspire genuine legal action. If someone dies from a paper cut, anyway.

SIX
style : padded lyrca shorts
Lone Star : $3 to $10, depending on the bartender

Lance Armstrong named this bar after the number of times he won the tour de France minus one, presumably as a nod to Satan. Every night Lance mounts a stationary bike in the basement and provides unlimited free energy to the entire city while being serviced by a dozen corporate-financed hookers and a troupe of goat-man hybrids. You would think that with such a sweet arrangement there™d be no need for a policy of overcharging you on your drinks. But you™d be wrong. And you can™t be too sympathetic to the bar staff because if there was a Hell for bad bartenders to be condemned to, it would definitely be this place.