Bad enough that Mavs teammate Dirk Nowitzki has challenged the clutchitude of Jason Terry ; the latter’s tattoo of the NBA Championship Trophy on his inner right bicep is the subject of considerable mockery from New Times’ Michael Miller (surely no relation?), who suggests “five ways to transform the tattoo to hide his arrogance.”
• Beautiful butterfly: Terry is obviously a sensitive guy. Why else would he flip out when Wade simply followed through on a sweet shot? Terry is himself a three-point specialist who doesn’t shy away from celebrating. So maybe a nice, colorful arthropod on his arm would boost his self-esteem above douchebag level. Just add some wings to the existing tat, and voila.
?• Propeller plane: Despite his nickname and his own annoying airplane celebrations, Terry is not really much of a jet. Instead, his tattoo should feature an old-timey plane that’s just like him: slow and prone to breaking down in the clutch.
• Ice-cream cone: Maybe Dallas’s defeat will be so crushing that Terry will go off the rails in Gucci Mane fashion. If he does, he already has the rapper’s ice-cream cone tattoo halfway done — just in a slightly more subtle spot.
• Jason Terry: He’s tall and bald, just like the trophy. The tattoo practically inks itself. Besides, meta-tattoos are in these days. It would be a RIP to his own naiveté.
• Penis: Why not? The basic design is already there. Plus it’s less embarrassing than admitting you got a trophy tattooed on your arm before you actually won it.