(Dave Stewart just called. He wants his perpetually lame aura back)

In a result just a little more akin to Stevenage Borough defeating Swindon Town in the ’97 FA Cup third round than say, “the Tulsa 66ers ousting the Detroit Pistons from the NBA Playoffs” (mostly because the latter has never happened), the amateur side of Dallas Roma F.C. knocked Chivas USA out of the Lamar Hunt U.S. Open Cup earlier this month with a penalty kick win. The New York Times’ Jack Bell reports that in advance of the LA Galaxy’s quarterfinal showdown with Roma, the inexplicably employed Alexi Lalas has embraced the role of the bully.

œWe™ve all been captivated by the Cinderella story that is Roma F.C., but the fairy tale is about to come to an abrupt end, Alexi Lalas, the Galaxy™s president and general manager, said on the team™s Web site. œWe look forward to hosting the overachievers from Texas in the next round and exposing them to a quality M.L.S. side.

Schell was not amused by Lalas™s comments.

œHe™s already talking trash, Schell said. œThey™re supposed to beat us, but a lot of our guys are out to prove a point that a lot of M.L.S. teams are not looking hard enough for the good players. They™re looking for the young players who will take $27,000 a year to start out.

Which “quality M.L.S side” does Lalas plan on exposing his guests to? Only Dave Checketts’ hapless Real Salt Lake seperates the Galaxy from having the worst record in the Western Conference.