Pointing out that Damian Duff’s transfer from Chelsea to Newcastle cost the latter £12,000,000.00 less than the former paid for the winger 3 years ago, the Guardian’s Barry Glendenning surveys the Republic Of Ireland international’s unveiling.

After running the now customary gauntlet of unemployed, topless and tattooed Geordies outside St James’s Park, Duff himself was asked to explain why he’d decided to move to Newcastle when clubs that have won things on colour TV were equally interested in him. “I listened to my heart,” explained the blond winger, who clearly numbers Swedish popsters Roxette among his advisers. “Maybe there are a lot of Liverpool supporters in Ireland saying ‘why didn’t you sign for us?’, but my heart told me to come to Newcastle.” Here’s hoping the club doctors gave the same ticker a thorough going-over during Duff’s medical, because it sounds like it might need a check-up to us.