Hey, it™s Cubs Mailbag time again with Cubs beat reporter Carrie Muskat at the Cubs MLB site. Fans ask the questions and Carrie answers the questions. Me, I found this week’s questions disappointing, and Carrie’s answers include some unfortunate phrasing like œI don’t think shortstop is the ˜biggest hole™ the Cubs have and œYes, I whiffed. I’d like to think I have something to offer the average Cubs fan in the way of wisdom, so this week I’m answering Carrie’s questions myself. Like this guy’s:

Tell us the Cubs are going to hold onto Prior. He is certainly young enough to make a return from rehab and continue to be a top pitcher.
 Mark B., Cornelius, N.C.

Mark, seriously, what is it with you Prior fans? Stockholm Syndrome? The guy is a money pit. You don™t think his name isn™t on that Mitchell report needle dick list? Wake up. I’d rather see his $3.75 mil per year go to buying every one at Wrigley this season a free hot dog.

I had to laugh when you said [in the Oct. 22 Mailbag] the fact the Cubs have Aramis Ramirez at third is one of the reasons Chicago wouldn’t go after Alex Rodriguez. A-Rod is decent at third, but he’s a great shortstop and that happens to be the biggest hole the Cubs have. If they don’t pursue A-Rod, it should only be because of the money he commands, not because we already have a third baseman.
— Mike L., Las Vegas

You just had to laugh at Carrie, huh? Hey, “Mike,” if that is your name, let™s just say as long as Prior and Wood are on salary, shortstop is the third biggest hole the Cubs have. Why you giving Carrie Muskat shit? She doesn™t work hard enough answering questions for the likes of you? Name me a team A-Rod can™t improve (uh, except the Yankees). Please don’t write the mailbag again.

I was wondering if there was any chance the Cubs would sign Kendall again. I read they weren’t expecting to keep him, but I think he would be a good investment because he would be able to mentor Soto and Kendall is one of the better catchers the Cubs have signed.
— Michael H., Chicago

Michael, are you 10 years old? What Hardy Boys book did you walk out of, old chum, where you think Jason Kendall wants to œmentor Soto, the guy who took his job, out of the goodness of his heart? If the Cubs make it worth his while ($$$) Kendall will stay. Otherwise, Lou doesn™t see any “Cubs swagger” in Kendall (he threw out 2 of 51 base stealers) Lou sees something more like “Cubs stagger.” Btw, mentor is a noun, please don™t use it as a verb in mailbag questions.

(Cub fan Herb G, from Anaheim, has a question for CSTB’s Cubbie Mailbag)

You whiffed on this one. Chuck W. of Highland Park, Ill., asked last week, “Who was the last Cubs manager to make the playoffs twice during his stay in Chicago?” A quick check of history on the website shows the Cubbies won NL pennants in ’32, ’35 and ’38, all led by Jolly Cholly Grimm. Add in ’45 during his second stint, and Charlie Grimm is Chicago’s career leader in championship NL seasons. His four pennants also exceed any South Side manager as well.
 Herb G., Anaheim, Calif.

Hey Herb, whiff this: Jolly Cholly is a beloved figure in Chicago. What your letter brings up again “ just so you can show off how you Google better than Carrie M “ is that J. Chuck Grimm was the king of second place, as the Cubs haven™t won the World Series in a century. I™m sure the Grimm family really appreciates that. Sorry to be a hard ass, but you got it coming. Please don™t write into the mailbag again. Ever.

Just before the playoffs, a story circulated that as soon as the Cubs were done playing at Wrigley Field, the field would undergo a major re-do. Is this happening and if so, what is the full nature of the project, what is being done and should it be ready for Opening Day 2008?
 Tim B., Bensenville, Ill.

Groundskeeping questions, Tim? Groundskeeping? I can ask the $136 million man, Alfonso Soriano, questions on your behalf, but you want to talk groundskeeping with me? Did you happen to see the Cubs choke to the D™backs in those playoffs you mention? Sod is way down on our list of œholes to fill. A million dollars worth of MLB unchoke-kits is more in order. You should go out to Vegas with œMike, as I™m sure even he must have more going on than a guy in Bensenville with groundskeeping on his mind.

I am a Cubs fan in Japan. On Oct. 18, Hiroki Kuroda, a pitcher for the Hiroshima Toyo Carp in Japan, became a free agent. Last year, the Cubs wanted to acquire him. Do the Cubs want him this year?
— Koji K., Kanagawa, Japan

Japan? What an honor to get an e-mail from so far away. Thanks for writing in to the Cubs mailbag, Koji!