Baltimore’s 14-5 rout of the Yankees was briefly interrupted this afternoon when a pair of fans took to the hallowed Nu Stadium turf, only to be escorted from the premises by Randy L.’s Crack Security Force. While this intermission had no impact on the game’s result, Orioles outfielder Adam Jones told the Baltimore Sun’s Eduardo A. Encina, “Anybody who does it, I wish the cops tase the [hell] out of them.”

“I think it’s idiotic for people to run on the field, and I think the punishment needs to be a lot harsher, and they should let us have a shot to kick them with our metal spikes on because it’s stupid,” Jones said. “You look like an [idiot] when you run on the field.”

“We don’t go to any other events,” Jones said. “We don’t go to other sporting events and do that to their jobs, but they come to ours and do that. I get it, you’re drunk and you want to be on SportsCenter. Your [butt] is going to jail with a fine, and you might not be allowed to come back to the ballpark. I remember a couple of years ago, one dude broke his ankle in Baltimore. I was laughing at him. I wish he shattered his femur because it’s stupid. It’s just plain old stupid.”