In his Breaking Madden series at SB Nation, Jon Bois has used some ingenious “Madden 25” hackery to simulate a number of tantalizing, “what if?” scenarios this season, including but not limited to giving Peyton Manning a porous offensive line, placing Adrian Peterson and Marshawn Lynch on the Giants and perhaps best of all, subbing Jags QB Blaine Gabbart with “Beeftank” (“400 pounds of lightning-quick, tackle-breaking muscle”).   Since Victory-formation disrespecting Tampa head coach Greg Schiano is 0-6, and recently opined to grumbling season ticket holders that “the situation needed Greg Schiano”,  Bois couldn’t help but wonder, if ONE Greg Schiano was requisite, how fucking amazing would the Bucs be with 44 of them?

This game took me about five hours to simulate from start to finish, because nearly all the plays were scores, changes of possession, or injury timeouts that stopped the clock. That’s an awfully long time to subject virtual mortals to such a nightmare.


I wish I could offer substantial proof that I did indeed score 412 points. The thing is, the game just stopped counting. The scoreboard was stuck. I had to start counting manually, and in so doing, I think I really may have approached the ceiling of how many points can possibly be scored in a 60-minute football game.