The Philadelphia Inquirer’s Jim Salisbury is, ahem, pulling for Barry.

We’re rooting for you, big guy, because the expiration date on this whole sordid drama has passed.

We’re tired of your tired legs, of your phony charm, and of your fraudulent quest for history.

We’re tired of commissioner Bud Selig’s transparent indecision – the commish is clearly waiting to see if Bonds is indicted for perjury so he can try to suspend him – over whether to attend the record-breaking game.

We’re tired of Major League Baseball keeping its distance from Bonds and the record, then using his likeness to promote games on MLB.TV.

The whole thing has gotten old. Let’s get it over, right in the city where it should end, San Francisco. Get plenty of rest, Barry. Stay in the lineup. Boom, boom, boom. Out goes the spotlight.

(What, you think he was quoting Little Walter?)

It wouldn’t be right if Bonds made history in Los Angeles or San Diego, where the Giants play after this homestand. Bonds has said he receives his toughest treatment as a visiting player in Los Angeles, and as much as he puffs his chest and cops his tough-guy act, he doesn’t want to get booed rounding the bases after No. 755 and 756, and the see-no-evil Giants owners don’t want that to happen, either.

Speaking of 756, shouldn’t that have been the word count for this column?

I doubt that I’m the first, second or third person to say this (and I don’t even dislike Bonds especially) but if the Sultan of Surly’s peers are half as outraged by him as the fans and media, why not make it certain that his joke of a home run record plays out as an actual joke? In other words, give him the Brett Favre/Michael Strahan treatment. People always say Steve Trachsel and Al Downing grooved one anyway.

So whaddaya say, John Smoltz, Tim Hudson and Chuck James? Nobody on base? Unleash your very best Ramon Henderson not-so-fastball. That would be remembered more than any asterisk, indictment or Rick Reilly column.

And where have you gone, Wilfredo Rodriguez?

(Actually, Henry Schulman of the San Francisco Chronicle tracked down the former hot shit Round Rock Express fireballer back in May).