From the Chicago Sun-Times’ Mike Kiley.

Cubs closer Ryan Dempster plans on being pretty slick when the Cubs play the White Sox next weekend at U.S. Cellular Field. After being informed of ox pitcher Mark Buehrle’s charge on WSCR-AM (670) that he suspects a Cubs pitcher uses an illegal substance to get more movement on his pitches, Dempster quickly hatched a retaliation prank.

Dempster (above) said he plans to rub Vaseline on his entire head and arms and then greet Buehrle and his Sox teammates on the other side of the field. This is the kind of sticky joke that Dempster believes could rub them the wrong way and get his point across that Buehrle’s insinuation is off base.

“That’s given me a good idea,” he said about diving into the Vaseline jar.

The only hint as to which Cubs pitcher Buehrle was referring was in describing the pitcher as a veteran.

“I’m just saying from [the] years of experience that he’s had success, that he very well may be using something,” Buehrle said.

It could be extrapolated that he was alluding to Greg Maddux, a 310-game winner. No one else fits the veteran profile quite as well. Dempster shot down any such allusion that detracts from Maddux’s Hall of Fame career.

“Then [Buehrle] hasn’t played catch with him,” Dempster said. “His ball moves so much playing catch that he can hit you in the knee if you’re not careful.”

Dempster, who began the season as a starter, also took a soft jab at Buehrle, saying that starting pitchers have too much time on their hands if he’s coming up with ruses such as this.

“He must get bored in the four days off,” Dempster said. “As a starter, I can appreciate that. Now that I’m doing the relieving thing, I don’t have time to think about things like that.”