While I’m loathe to write something that falls into the “there are more important things in life than games” black hole (hey, did you know football fans from Oregon are not sufficiently enlightened about Juarez?), Houston Chronicle columnist Richard Justice’s suggestion that the government stop posturing and start enforcing when it comes to steroids is still 50% wrong.

We need Congress to pass legislation toughening the penalties for possessing and distributing steroids. We need Congress to attempt to mandate Olympic-caliber drug testing for professional athletes.

We need Congress to act instead of talk. Too many high school kids are using steroids, and Congress could do something about it.

Instead, Congress threatens and Congress blusters and Congress does nothing of substance.

Check the record. During those March 2005 hearings in which Sammy Sosa forgot how to speak English and Mark McGwire killed his Hall of Fame chances, one of the leadoff witnesses was Don Hooton, a Plano parent whose 16-year-old son committed suicide, probably as a result of steroid use.

His testimony was gut-wrenching, and he all but begged for legislation to reduce steroid use at the high school level. Congressmen made a big show of being sympathetic, but when the cameras were turned off, little happened.

“Almost nothing of substance,” Hooton said Saturday night. “It just demonstrated what a lot of this was about. It was an opportunity to grandstand.”

Hooton emphasizes the hearings were useful because they brought attention to the subject and gave him opportunities to continue to tell his story. He’s also happy to see Clemens and Pettitte in an uncomfortable spotlight. He wants every high school kid to be reminded Rafael Palmeiro and McGwire have gone into hiding since the 2005 hearings. He wants the stigma of being cheats to send a message to every kid considering using the stuff.

There’s so much more Congress could do.

“Go and ask your police department how much time and attention they devote to these drugs,” Hooton said. “I’m guessing it’s little or none. For someone to really be punished for distributing steroids, they’d almost have to be caught with a truckload.

“Let’s start taking this stuff seriously. When someone tests positive for steroids, it’s a confirmation he or she has committed a felony. Think about that for a minute. Turn these people over to law enforcement.”


With apologies to George Carlin (“I would like to substitute the word ‘fuck,’ for the word ‘kill’ in all those movie cliches we grew up with”), let’s revise some of those lines.

We need Congress to act instead of talk. Too many high school kids are smoking pot and Congress could do something about it.

“Go and ask your police department how much time and attention they devote to these drugs,” Hooton said. “I’m guessing it’s little or none. For someone to really be punished for selling crack in a major American city they’d almost have to be caught with a truckload.

“Let’s start taking this stuff seriously. When someone tests positive for heroin, it’s a confirmation he or she has committed a felony. Think about that for a minute. Turn these people over to law enforcement.”