LeBron’s new Nike ad fails to apologize to Cavs fans, does little to explain the exercise in self-obsession that was “The Decision”, and it doesn’t actually sell sneakers.  Other than that, it’s a terrific commercial.  But on the same day a Cleveland radio host has enlisted a witch doctor to fuck with The King’s head prior to tonight’s season opener versus Boston, Scratchbomb’s Matthew Callan watches said commercial and delivers a curse of his own.

Should I be who you want me to be? Because I don’t change myself for nobody. Except Dwayne Wade.

Should I get Thai for lunch? I just had it yesterday but I’m still feelin it, you know?

Should I stop listening to my friends? C’mon, they’re my friends. If your friends asked you to stop listening to your friends, would you do it? I would. That’s the kind of friend I am.

Should I go on this whitewater rafting trip with Delonte West? I think it’s gonna be really awkward.

Should I really do this Miami Vice segment with Don Johnson, even though I was like negative-three when that show was canceled?

Should I be who you want me to be? Because if it’ll get me 5 extra bucks, I will totally do it.