Alan Shearer — the most boring man in sports not named Peyton — scored his 201st goal breaking Jackie Milburn’s club record in Newcastle’s 2-0 win over Portsmouth. The victory came in caretaker manager Glenn Roeder’s debut, the former West Ham boss having taken over from the deposed Graeme Souness last Thursday.

Togolese newcomer Emmanuel Adebayor and Thierry Henry each scored in Arsenal’s 2-0 away victory at Birmingham. For the latter, it was his 200th in an Arsenal jersey. Defender Sol Campbell, who bolted Highbury during halftime of last Wednesday night’s loss to West Ham, did not play.

The Human Whoopie Cushion’s understudy in Outing The Stars suggests that Sol has “a brokeback problem”. Even so, at least he’s not complaining that he can’t get it up.

(All of that said, Sol’s brother seems to have a problem of one sort or another).

On a similar tip, the Mighty MJD has a quote today from “the Aston Villa coach”. Trust me, if Villa had a talking bus, they wouldn’t need to bother playing football. Manager David O’Leary, however, is at least as effervescent a conversationalist as William Daniels in “Knight Rider”.

The Ivory Coast has reached the final four of the Africa Nations Cup following their crazy 12-11 penalty shootout win over Cameroon, Chelsea’s Dieder Drogba converting the winner. The Elephants will now face Nigeria in the Semi-Finals this Tuesday.