Life in Utah isn’t just about being married to Jeanne Tripplehorn and Chloe Sevingy at the same time. If you’re a soccer fan, it means being fucked by the same guy that swapped Patrick Ewing’s expiring deal for Glen Rice, Luc Longley and Travis Knight. The Offside links to a report today claiming Real Salt Lake owner Dave Checketts is threatening to sell or move the club following RSL’s inability to obtain public financing for a new stadium.

Keep in mind that Real Salt Lake — cited today for their financial inviability by the Debt Review Committee of Sandy County, have been an SLC fixture for all of, uh, two years.

I don’t pretend to be an expert on legal matters, but if you’re gonna sue The Sun for calling you a prostitute, you’d probably have a stronger case if you weren’t in fact, a prostitute.

Amidst charges the F.A. Cup has lost a bit of luster, The Fiver greeted today’s 5th Round Draw.

if you thought the fourth round was a disappointment, you ain’t seen nothing yet. For in today’s last 16 draw, the big three were all given home ties, while the potential giantkillers – the Blackpools and Bristol Citys of this world – were either handed the impossible (Chelsea away) or the mundane (West Brom at home). The fact that the tie of the fifth round is between Tottenham’s trip to Fulham, Arsenal or Bolton v Blackeye Rovers, or the MU Rowdies v Reading says it all. In fact the only entertainment of any kind generated by the draw was the sight of Derby County’s players making no attempt whatsoever to hide their disgust upon learning their reward for getting into the fifth round would be a trip to Plymouth.

The only manager to bother commenting on the draw was Preston boss Paul Simpson, whose club have been paired with Manchester City. “It’s a fantastic draw for us,” he chortled. “I have wonderful memories of my time at Man City and we hope we’ll get a full house at Deepdale for it.” Which would be a rare thing indeed, of course. Our solution? Give the final Big Cup place to the FA Cup winners. Change the incentives for winning it and, at a stroke, the competition would matter – really matter – again. And the BBC might finally start getting its money’s worth too.