Today’s award for smugness sans decency goes to the Boston Globe’s Aaron Kaplowitz — a New York Giants fan — who traveled all the way to Nicaragua in order to throw US $$ at the locals in exchange for Patriots “19-0” swag.
Hannibal quickly led us to a row of one-room hovels, where we met a wrinkled woman sitting outside in a mint-green dress and a white apron. Her warm smile revealed a mouth lacking teeth. Hannibal and the woman talked for a few minutes. I reminded Hannibal that we were willing to pay money for a hat or shirt. The woman entered her shack and returned with a black plastic bag.
My fingers curled with anticipation as Ilan removed a fresh, clean shirt and a never-worn hat. This could have been Brady’s. This should have been Brady’s.
The woman couldn’t believe we were willing to pay money for these things. We gave her $5, a sizable amount in the area, and handed Hannibal an equal finder’s fee before sprinting down the road as the bus began to gain speed out of town. The driver slowed to let us on.
On the bus, I studied the “19-0 Perfect Season” hat and pointed out to Ilan the line etched into the red and blue Velcro strap: “WE WANTED IT MORE.”
Not as much as we did.
Reebok, Majestic, Nike, etc. donating the losing side’s locker room caps and tees to those less fortunate is a long-standing practice, one so frequently joked about that even Jim Rome might think twice before mentioning it next February. That the NY Times-owned Globe finds something amusing about plying the destitute with five-dollar bills, however, is kinda creepy, even by modern sports blog standards.