Alright, that’s not exactly what the Riverfront Times’ Paul Friswold had to say about Rams owner Stan Kroenke and his scheme to relocate the franchise to Los Angeles. Kroenke characterizes staying in St. Louis as some sort of economic suicide pact, to which Friswold replies, “bold words coming from a man wearing a roofied caterpillar on his upper lip.”

Consider this, Stanley: Maybe is St. Louis is suffering economically because of you. The city (and the county) both pay $12 million a year in upkeep on the team’s current home, and both governments will continue to pay it for years to come. How much have you invested in St. Louis? Certainly your development company THF has built quite a few Wal-Mart anchored strip malls, but you do that with loads of our money.

And speaking of Wal-Mart, maybe St. Louis would be on sounder economical footing if your Wal-Mart heiress wife (who’s worth $4.4 billion in her own right) would pay her employees a living wage. It’s pretty easy to be economically viable when you use taxpayer money to build a business and then pay poverty wages to the employees.

I understand that moving the Rams isn’t personal for you: It’s all about making and hoarding money. No man who cared about anything other than money would walk around with that collection of fantasy fur hairpieces (but I wouldn’t put it past you that you’ve never bought a mirror, either).