(hey, I haven’t seen it either)
Days before I was fortunate enough to catch David Cross’ star turn as Allen Ginsburg in Todd Haynes’ sprawling “I’m Not There”, the comedian took to The Bob & Davider to offer a defense of sorts regarding his participation in “Alvin & The Chipmunks”. “Usually I wouldn’t give a shit about what everyone’s feelings are about it,” writes Cross, but he’s still gracious enough to share his feelings with the adoring public, especially where an upstate NY dream house is concerned.
It’s a small cottage on 5 1/2 acres in the middle of the woods in Sullivan county. It has a largish stream running through it and best of all it’s in the middle of nowhere. No town, no nothing. Two hours outside the city and only about a ten minute drive from the Delaware River. Perfect. It was a little more than I had budgeted for but it was definitely worth it. I asked the owner if he’d take some of my credibility as payment. He looked at me as if I was an alien with A.I.D.S. speaking some intergalactic gobbledy-goo. I had to patiently explain to this country bumpkin about my indie hipster cred, and I would now like to cash it in. This rural rube was so backwards and ignorant that he couldn’t even conceive of how financial markets work and simple free market capitalism. I tried again to explain the concept of the value of “credibility” and “artistic integrity” but he refused to take it in exchange for the house. This guy was a fucking idiot! But what could I do? He wouldn’t take no for an answer. If I wanted that cottage I would have to pay him money. Sigh. So I used my “Alvin and the Chipmunks” money to pay for the down payment.