The Tampa Tribune’s Erik Eriendsson, coping rather well after years of being a Courtney Love sideman, adds his voice to the chorus of national columnists wondering just-what-is-up with Versus and their cable or satellite provider.

I would like to thank DirecTV tonight for screwing me out of the first five minutes of the third period of the Dallas-San Jose game. I flipped over during the second intermission to catch the end of Mystery, Alaska in just enough time to see Connor Banks ring one off the crossbar as the final seconds ticked off to see the Mystery boys drop one to the New York Rangers. And after getting my 3-year-old a sip of milk after he woke up, I flipped back over only to see Tracy Ullman fold up her laptop computer while in bed, then complain about cramps before putting the still warm computer in her abdominal region. I then got to see previews of some show called The Secret Life of a Call Girl, The Weeds, Penn and Teller™s Bullsh!! and the opening minutes of The Tudors.

There’s always the chance Eriendsson’s cat stepped on the remote and flipped to Showtime. But it’s so much more fun to presume there’s a vast global conspiracy to fuck over hockey fans at every available opportunity.