“If Jason Witten had recorded and televised the ‘Black Olympics,'” wrote Jason Whitlock of Martellus Bennett’s ill-advised fried chicken eating competition video, “CNN would™ve aborted coverage of Michael Jackson™s month-long death to perform a thorough analysis of Witten™s entire life.” Lucky for us, Whiten’s not nearly as creative. An impassioned response to Whitlock’s critique can be found below :