Fuck off, Seymour Hersh. Washington City Paper’s Dave McKenna has blown the lid off the man, the mystery, the majesty that is Wizznutzz. Incredibly, there’s no mention of “Aubernica”, but this is required reading just the same.

Everybody gets a nickname at Wizznutzz: Even the posters use fake bylines, and until now, Wizznutzz contributors have never admitted to anything using their real names. Some of the handles given Wizards are higher brow than others, though most are based on some personality or physical trait or biographical minutiae. After finding out that former guard Juan Dixon, for example, carried his own toilet paper with him on the road, to the Wizznutzz faithful he became œJaggers, after a Dickens character who obsessively washes his hands. And owner Abe Pollin was œMr. Drummond.

œWe thought he™s like the dad from Diff™rent Strokes, says Morris, œan old guy who drives around in a limo and grabs young black kids off the playground.

This seems as good a time as any to complain there’s precious little info on the interweb about the acting career of Conrad Bain’s brother, Hank.

(UPDATE : The Real Wizznutzz claims foul, fraud, etc.

Now a guy called “James” claims he is Jonny Wizznutzz all of a sudden and goes on City Paper for grotesque greed power grab not seen since Salieri stole Ed Rush’s prize whore.)