Former Newsday staple Stan Issacs has unveiled his “47th Annual Isaacs Ratings of Esoteric Distinction”, an exercise he explains thusly (link swiped from Neil Best’s Watchdog) :

The ratings, which were launched upon an unsuspecting world in 1960, and moved to in 2001, were conceived as a loving spoof of The Ring magazine boxing ratings. In those days Ring was the only entity that dealt in ratings, but they have mushroomed like, well, mushrooms, inspiring the IRED to rush in where nobody else dare tread.

Indeed, along with ranking the top Chocolate Ice Creams (Double Rainbow? In a global top ten?), Issacs endeavors to rank the elite in Paintings, Characters In Robert Service Poems, and best of all, Rest Stops On The New Jersey Turnpike.

(1) Walt Whitman; (2) Molly Pitcher; (3) Joyce Kilmer (above); (4) Thomas Edison; (5) Alexander Hamilton (6) Woodrow Wilson; (7) Clara Barton; (8) James Fenimore Cooper; (9) Richard Stockton; (10) Vince Lombardi.