File this one under : anything to distract from Paul Robinson’s Wednesday against Croatia. Though I don’t recall whether or not The Independent ever got around to reviewing David Wells’ “Perfect I’m Not”, Terrell Owens’ much heralded foray into the world of children’s literature is acknowledged by the Guardian’s Marina Hyde.
After a late summer of wildly unedifying footballer autobiographies and occasional transfer lunacy, you may well ask whether there is anywhere left to go.
But there is always somewhere left to go. After all, Premiership players could be publishing children’s books. You know, intentionally.
Happily, developments across the Atlantic suggest it will not be long before this dream becomes a reality. I have not yet settled down to lose myself in “Little T Learns to Share”, but the fact that its author is the Dallas Cowboys wide receiver Terrell Owens would appear to mark it out as some kind of literary hoax, until his publisher confirms it is merely the first in a planned five-volume series for children. Suddenly, the pending four volumes of Wayne Rooney’s life story seem less of a threat.
And so to “Little T Learns to Share”, which TO has authored in the true sporting sense of the word, given that he once snorted at the suggestion he had so much as read his own autobiography. I shan’t insult you by reprinting some of his thoughts on the irrelevance of working as a team, but if Terrell can publish a child’s manual on sharing, there is food for thought here for our finest literary agents, and you wouldn’t give it very long before a slew of copycat volumes hits the shelves like Ben Thatcher’s elbow on a grateful face. Let’s cross our fingers for healthy advances for “Little Robbie Learns to Cuddle” and “Little Arjen Learns to Stand.”