Mentioning Chelsea’s clinical dispatch of Manchester City earlier today, the Human Whoopee Cushion’s understudy writes,

Didier Drogba scored two goals, and one of them was even legal. City argued that Droga used his arm to control the ball before he scored.

It might come as a massive surprise to this mental midget that there’s this hot new invention called videotape. Thanks to said innovation, the interested parties around the world who actually watched the fucking match already know there wasn’t much to argue about. Drogba clearly handled the ball. His earlier goal was typically stylish, but Drogba’s 2nd is only a matter of controversy if you’ve not seen it.

That said, City are lucky they didn’t lose by a far more embarrassing margin.

Having witnessed Steve Coppell manuever through a fairly impossible situation at Crystal Palace, grudging respect is due to the Reading manager upon the Royals’ promotion clincher, a 1-1 draw with Leicester.

I can only hope that Coppell uses his influence with shirt sponsors Kyocera to push their research and development department into coming up with a ExpressCard/EVDO solution. Blogging from funerals is gonna be very tough, otherwise.