From Deadspin :

We will be the first to admit, as some of you have pointed out, that soccer isn™t necessarily our strong suit. This is because we grew up in the United States, enjoy watching sports on television and still think it™s almost perverse that they created a sport that doesn™t allow you to use your hands.

Of all the critiques aimed at soccer over the years, the above is certainly the most cutting, if not the most original. “A sport that doesn’t allow you to use your hands.” As opposed to professional blogging, a pursuit that doesn’t allow you to use your brain.

For the record, I grew up in the United States, enjoy watching sports on television and still think knee-jerk soccer bashing is far less offensive than someone bragging about having an empty skull.

(What, pray tell, is Deadspin’s strong suit?)

But really, don’t let the rest of the universe’s appreciation of the game in question in any way affect your smug sense of superiority — that’s not a problem for America these days, after all. Every time they show footage of David Wells on CNN International, there’s someone in another country (say, Canada for instance) who can’t fathom why we give a hoot.