Rehabbing White Sox SP Bartolo Colon was described in some circles as AWOL this week, and with a scheduled start for Triple-A Charlotte tonight in jeopardy, Chicago manager Ozzie Guillen (having already offered a $2 million bounty for the recovery of the hefty hurler) had a unique theory behind El Barto’s disappearance, as transcribed by the Sun-Times Chris De Luca.

“I think immigration is looking for him,” Guillen said. “I worry about Colon because Colon was a big-time Michael Jackson fan. He might see the TV and cry all day long. He maybe is in L.A. at his funeral, because I can’t find him.

“Nobody knows how big of a Michael Jackson fan Colon was. I’m serious. He might be depressed a little bit.”

Guillen was asked if it bothered him that the Sox couldn’t contact Colon.

“He’s a grown man,” Guillen said. “I only worry about the people in our clubhouse now. It bugged [general manager Ken Williams] a bit. We’re still paying you. You’re still on our payroll. It’s our job. But that don’t bother me. I guarantee it will bother Kenny and [chairman Jerry Reinsdorf] a bit. They pay his salary.”

A Sox spokesman said contact had been made with Colon and he is scheduled to make his rehab start Thursday. Guillen said Colon wasn’t required to be in Charlotte until tonight. Williams, however, didn’t hide his displeasure Tuesday over not being able to contact a player the Sox are paying $1 million this season.

“I know where he is supposed to be right now,” Williams said Tuesday. “He’s supposed to be in Charlotte, preparing to start Thursday. Efforts to contact his agent have been successful. Their efforts to contact their client have not been so successful.”

While Colon has been located and is apparently safe and sound, trauma over his status clearly came to bear on his White Sox teammates, starter Clayton Richard in particular (1 IP, 6 earned runs, 3 walks, 1 grand salami allowed to Kelly Shoppach earlier today).