Bloggity blog critiques of ESPN.com’s Scoop Jackson are a dime a dozen — and in the case of one legend in his own mind, it would be good to know who’s handing out the dimes. But much as it takes more than generic hyperbole to celebrate the exploits of the moderne Washington Wizards, a proper evisceration of Jackson is best left to the surgical hands of Wizznutzz.
Sure some people complain about Scoop, they say he writes himself into the script more thatn Spike Lee, they say how his punchy profundities are one sentence deep, that his pieces plod along one sentence at a time and then turn around a come back over themselves, like a hopscotch game, they say that Scoop thinks he is a fresh voice, a flamboyant showman but then so do most guys you find wandering around the LA Bus Depot at 2am, and they complain that Scoop’s big finale kicker lines are really just re-purposed marketing BL-AXIOMS he boosted from shoe company copywriters like this:
“When the shirt arrived it was like Christmas in May.
That’s all it said.
Because that’s what we all are.
…Just watch. Witness”
and now this:
“He tries to make you believe that it is about them, not him.
That he’s not the one to occupy the spotlight, that he’s not in this moment of his alone.
They all are. The team. Together.
But you’re not a fool, are you?”
and they say, “Hey Scoop, I also had that Disposable Heroes of Hiphoprisy CD when i was in college. But I also wore Ocean Pacific courderoy sHorts in High School and even though, yes, i still wear the same shorts, I dont have JC Penny taking pictures of me in them for the latest catalog!”
Yes, thats all true, BUT at least Scoop is the only sportwriter at espn who you can be assured will never utter the word “PAGEANTRY” when talking about sports!!! and thats gotta count for something!
Tentative congrats to the New York Knicks, who are on pace to hold the Phoenix Suns to a mere 98 points tonight, well below the Matrix & company’s nightly average. That said, New York is also on pace to lose the game, as they trail 49-46 at the half. If you think a Bobbito Garcia interview with the Beastie Boys is any consolation, well, let me put it this way : try as they might, said meeting of the minds doesn’t even come close to the chemistry of Al Trautwig gabbing with Roger Waters.