I once remarked that it wasn’t until I saw the motion picture “Armageddon” that I fully understood the meaning of the expression “an insult to one’s intelligence.”

I would like to revise this claim.

It wasn’t until I watched Fox’s brutal opening vingette to this evening’s broadcast — essentially, the history of the Chicago White Sox summed up in 90 seconds (Shoeless Joe, Disco Demolition Night, the end) in a way that might’ve been amusing to persons who fondly remember the Fox ‘Bots (ie. no one on earth) — that I really understand what it meant to insult someone’s intelligence.

Other than that, Jeannie and K-Squared are in rare form. The former would like us to know that she “really feels good” for the Killer B’s (that’s a load off my mind), the latter has apparently consumed 20 or 30 cups of coffee today and has never been less coherent in front of a microphone — a staggering achievment, given his body of work for Fox and XM this past season.

Such broadcasting heights have already been scaled mind, nearly 2 hours before that great patriot Liz Phair — truly the modern incarnation of Kate Smith, give or take a few hundred pounds — sings “God Bless America”. If you think Liz’s version of song is a little too slick, please, give it a rest. Much as you want to hear her old renditions of “The Star Spangled Banner”, “Stars & Stripes Forever”, “America The Beautiful” and “The Ballad Of The Green Beret” as they were played and recorded with Brad Wood back in the go-go ’90’s, it’s just not gonna happen. A real artist can’t let their work stagnate.

(this is what Will Leitch would call a pop culture reference)

I’m not all about dissing the hard working men and women of the Fox network, however. For instance, I am reasonably certain that no matter what happens during this World Series, at no point will Joe Buck ever cut from the action on the field to introduce members of the cast from “Skin” sitting in the front row.

I still have high hopes for Leon presenting the World Series Trophy to the owner and manager of the winning club, though. A guy can dream.