(Kim Gordon, l, and Julie Cafritz, r, moments before that mani-pedi and Stila visit)

If news of Lower East Side resident Tatum O’Neal living her Lou Reed dream threw Bad News Bears fans everywhere for a loop, another story sat me down and said Wake Up Call. Julie Cafritz, ex-Pussy Galore and current Free Kitten, did a Guest List interview on Pitchfork with Kim Gordon that was almost as shocking. Instead of living out that hardcore noise queen dream of my youth on said Lower East Side with Tatum, she sounds so normal I think I married her. I mean, her ringtone is Steely Dan’s “Hey Nineteen” for God’s sake. Thanks, Tatum, for keeping that teen dream alive. Tyler Grisham relates Cafritz’ less than sordid downfall here:

>> Favorite Record Shop

KG: I don’t go to record stores.

JC: I try to stay local, really local. So there’s this little record shop that actually delivers things to my home. It’s called Amazon. They recently brought me a record I quite fancy, the new Kevin Ayers, Unfairground, which sounds just like his old records, just not quite as good, which is still pretty damn good.

>> Best Purchase of the Past Year

KG: Earrings and necklace by Rebekah Brooks.

JC: You are asking this question of someone who shops to fill the black hole in her soul. It’s all a blur. Wait, I know: I shopped around for a new shrink, and he’s great.

>> Best Thing I Did This Year

KG: Played noise with my friend at her opening in Paris on her 50th birthday wearing a Rodarte dress.

JC: Skiing Steamboat Springs in April. Not only were the conditions epic, but I got to use my “western” voice the whole time and that was mighty fine.

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(pictured: no longer Ms. Cafritz’ residence)

>> Favorite TV Show at the Moment

KG: “The Wire”, “Buffy the Vampire Slayer”.

JC: A revolving lineup depending what month of the reality TV calendar we’re in: “Top Chef” and “America’s Next Top Model” at the moment.

>> Favorite Video Game at the Moment

KG: “Rock Band”.

JC: Umm, I’m not a pimply-faced, 15-year-old, masturbating loser, so I don’t have one. Instead of violent video games, I like to watch my kids beat the shit out of each other. If I wanna play, I hit one of them.