(bystanders don’t get much more innocent)

“I guess one can’t expect a prime mover in the Allison Stokke saga to learn anything,” muses David Colon of The Gil Meche Experience,  “but between the statutory rape and the gang bang jokes, please tell me anything that’s funny about this Wif Lethur post.”  Well, to tell the truth, I did laugh at the line “yeah, but Tim Wakefield never had his underwear sold in a vending machine”, though David insists “the sentence ‘I’ve got some knuckleballin’ moose knuckle to puncture’ is so brotastically awful it disproves the existence of a kind and caring God.”

So yeah, it’s beyond Stokke-esque.  Ufford isn’t the first or last person to objectify children, and whether or not you find that aspect of the (alleged) humor troublesome is obviously up to you.  Few observers should be surprised that America’s 2nd Greatest War Hero (after John McCain, naturally) took one gander at a (conservatively attired) female athlete and declared her to be “statutorily rape-alicious”.   But turning a blind eye to a comment like “if this doesn™t work out she could always go into bukkake or tentacle porn” really places the author/publisher into Fucktard Of The Year contention.  Perhaps by the time these guys hit the age of 15, it might occur to them there’s something ferociously racist and blatantly scared-of-girls about making the instant leap from “16 year old Japanese female pitcher” to “bukkake porn”.