If you figured Nick Stevens aka Paul “Fitzy” Fitzgerald was struggling to cope with the aftermath of Tom Brady’s season-ending injury, well, you weren’t totally wrong (“at least you can laugh at how sad, bloated and heartbroken a man in his mid-30™s sounds over the loss of his favorite QB for the season”). But that doesn’t mean standup comedy’s most prominent masshole lacks the presence of mind to engage in the sort of civil disobedience unmatched in that region since the heyday of William Lloyd Garrison.
A coupla zany wacky goofball zing-eriffic shock jocks in Buffalo, Shredd and Ragan (definitely the names of a coupla guys I wanna party with!) have come up with this œhilarious CONTEST to help people win tickets to a Bills game. And you wanna know how they can do it? Get this – oh jeepers, it™s so darn funny and creative I don™t know what to do with myself – all a fan has to do is create a bust of Bernard Pollard, the safety who did the unmentionable! That™s it! Best bust wins two tickets to see the Bills play the Raiders (what a neat game, in such a neat city!) on September 21st.
SO…I think we should all enter. And make busts out of the yummiest, tastiest, family-friendliest items possible.
OR…maybe we can flood their station with more GFY mail, emails, phone calls and such telling them what a SWELL idea their contest is, and how funny we think it is. Don™t forget to tell the guys how much success you wish them in the future.
I can not stress this enough; you need to take action here. It™s on, peoples. That™s how the world, or the bitter AFC East radio stations in towns that haven™t been relevant for over 60 years, wanna play? OK, game on.
Lest anyone think a pair of Buffalo dj’s are the one persons to express joy over Brady’s torn ACL, consider the following missive aimed in the direction of The Sports Putz (thanks to David Williams for the tip).
Q: Give us a retroactive running diary of your thoughts from 10:14 a.m. PT to bedtime on Sunday, Sept. 7, 2008. Did you go through the seven stages of grief? Did you cry? My roommate thinks you cried. I don’t think you cried but you probably looked like Coach K every time Duke is about to get eliminated from the NCAA Tournament, glassy-eyed with a quivering lip. Just go through the whole day for us. Yes, these are your readers.– Kenny, Ann Arbor, Mich.