Thanks to Maura Johnston for passing along “We Are Boise State”, by MLB.com’s Mark Newman, an early front-runner for the most useless column — print, electronic, scrawled on the wall of a cave — in 2007, if not all of human history. Amongst the highlights,
There is a Boise State in all of us.
It’s wanting to be known for more than a blue football field and seizing the moment when the opportunity finally arrives.
It’s 5-foot-7 David Eckstein winning the World Series Most Valuable Player Award.
It’s a hook-and-ladder play on fourth-and-18 to send the Fiesta Bowl into overtime, and then an unbelievable Statue of Liberty play to win it on a two-point conversion — instead of going the “safe” route of an extra-point kick.
It’s Roy Hobbs in “The Natural,” breaking his “Wonderboy” on one swing, and then driving a pitch with the “Savoy Special” into the lights.
It’s the guy who ran the Statue of Liberty play into the end zone, running over to the cheerleader and asking her to marry him while a national TV audience watches.
It’s Bill Mazeroski hitting the walk-off homer for Pittsburgh in Game 7 of the 1960 World Series against the Yankees, Enos Slaughter dashing around the bases, Sid Bream sliding under the tag and every other fabled finish that comes to mind in more than a century of postseasons that took people’s breath away.
There is a Boise State in all of us. This time it happened to be college football. Soon it will be Major League Baseball again. The unthinkable is always a play away.
What’s really unthinkable is that Newman couldn’t find a way to cram to Jason McEwlain, Lance Armstrong or David Arquette winning the WCW Heavyweight Championship into his litany of underdawg heroism.
Kirk Bohls of the Austin American-Statesman is equally wont to hyperbolize, declaring “even Borat should be able to understand the all-out passion and dedication of the undermanned, unappreciated Broncos of the Western Athletic Conference.” Fill-in your own joke about Kirk and a hand-party wherever you wish.
The Feed’s Josh Alper —just back from a fact-finding mission to uncover the real truth behind Shane Warne’s retirement from international cricket — scoffs at the notion Boise State deserves a crack at the national title.
Boise played crazy schoolyard football, reaching deep down into the bag of tricks to beat an okay, not great, Oklahoma team that should have been better prepared for such chicanery. No one expects a Spanish Inquisition obviously but Boise made its bones as a razzle-dazzle, beat ’em with mirrors club and the Sooners played them straight up and got burnt for it. However, it’s insane to think that the Broncos could pull that off twice or three times against increasingly good opposition to win a National title. There are only so many gadget formations and plays available. And as for the second point, are there really people outside of Idaho clamoring for a Boise State-Ohio State title game? I’ll take the team from the conference with LSU, Auburn and Tennessee over the one with San Jose State. I don’t mean to slag Boise here, I think it’s great that they beat Oklahoma but I also think it was the spot they belonged in and that intimating anything else is just an attempt to fill space in the eternal wait for the actual title game.