As a resident of the World’s alleged Live Music Capital, I’m painfully aware there’s no shortage of aspiring musicians, many of ’em struggling to select a decent name for their new ensembles.  And they’ll just have to keep on struggling, as I’ve made a shortlist of the worst new bands names I can come up with off the top of my head.  By all means, feel free to use ANY OF THESE.  You don’t need to give me credit or pay me or anything.  Better if we never talk about it. But just think how good a few of these will look on a kick drum, marquee or court order an American Apparel tee.

Vince Young Steakhouse
the Cocksmen
Hamburger & The Helpers
Naughty Thoughts
Black Owl Society
Sucko & Vanzetti
David Komie, Attorney At Law
Our Little Secret
Hat Hair
Canadian Blacula
Menendez & Sons
Creedence Clearwater Reprisal