It was widely assumed a home capitulation to Arsenal this past weekend would mark the final match in charge for West Ham United manager Avram Grant, and while his immediate future is still undetermined, the club struggled to contend with tabloid allegations that vice-chairman Karren Brady had attempted to organize a players’ mutiny against Grant. There’s clearly a mole at Upton Park, opines the Guardian’s Barney Ronay, though he’s quick to point out, “no, not Grant (above), who does bear some resemblance to an endearing underground burrowing creature with flappy-shovel hands.”

“West Ham United categorically deny the allegations made in today’s Daily Mirror with regard to Karren Brady, the club’s vice-chairman,” a traditional East End club statement cockneyed. “Karren has worked tirelessly to improve all aspects of the club’s operation and is extremely disappointed by the nature of these unfounded allegations. West Ham intend to identify the source of these unhelpful and untrue comments and remove them from the club.”

So West Ham’s season lurches from relegation battle to protracted managerial non-sacking to an internal leakage hunt. It already sounds like the worst ever game of Cluedo or a particularly desperate live Channel 4 celebrity gameshow called Who’s The Mole. Meanwhile West Ham are still bottom of the table. Gollivan and TV’s Karen still resemble in outline the evil General Zod and his beardy/vamp accomplices in Superman II. And Grant still hasn’t been sacked … Still.