He’s been called The White Mamba. Veal Scalabrine. Michael Rapapport The Human Victory Cigar. But one thing you cannot call veteran benchwarmer-turned-broadcaster Brian Scalabrine is Unable To Defeat Anonymous Schmoes. WBZ’s Toucher & Rich recruited a quartet of one-on-one rivals for Scalabrine, and if the following item from CBS Boston is any measure, the former Celtics fan favorite took no small satisfaction in his triumph.

Scalabrine easily defeated all four of his opponents, throwing down monstrous jams and sinking smooth jumpers as he beat them all by a combined score of 44-6.

“When you go into a game you have to realize that these guys can play,” Scal said of his opponents. “They’re strong, they’ve played against guys quicker than me, they’ve played against guys bigger than me, they’ve played against guys stronger than me.”

“I was expecting what I was expecting today,” he said. “The only thing I think they weren’t expecting was my size defensively; how good I can cover ground defensively.”