Persons watching Boston’s dispatch of a younger, not-so-easily bullied Portland on ESPN last night were denied the dulcet tones of Bill Walton, subbing for Tommy Heinsohn on Comcast-SportsNet’s Celtics telecast. Since retiring from full-time broadcasting due to continued back problems, the one-time New Alliance recording artist has provided analysis for a handful of Sacramento games this season, and’s Paul Flannery transcribed a few of Walton’s high spots from last night at the Rose Garden ;

On oft-injured Portland center Greg Oden:

“He should move to Hawaii, lose a ton of weight and start all over¦ become a yoga master.”

On former Pistons Bill Laimbeer, Rick Mahorn and Dennis Rodman:

“They just made those decisions. That they were going to break all the rules of human decency.”

After the camera caught Garnett in the middle of his pregame ritual where he bangs his head against the basket stanchion:

“Kevin Garnett, working on his repetitive head injuries”

On Portland center Joel Pryzbilla:

“Pryzbilla does what he does best¦ violate the rules.”