Prior to watching his White Sox commit hate crimes against St. Louis earlier tonight, Chicago manager Ozzie Guillen affirmed that he considers Jay Mariotti to be “a piece of shit,” but admitted “I should have used another word” in discussing the Sun-Times eyeliner maven. And Guillen is right. He never should’ve mentioned the WNBA.

Gareth Keenan was just on the phone — he wants his Elton John and Queen CD’s back from Ozzie.

St. Louis pitchers have allowed 33 runs to the White Sox over the past two games. Tony La Russa claims that Albert “Innocent Until Will Leitch Implicates Him” Pujols will be available by Monday, but there’s no word if he’s developed a cut fastball.

Congrats to Jet Blue on their amazing new innovation — pumping hot air from the overhead vents during June flights in 90 degree heat. Some of your wimpier airlines might opt for air conditioning, but Jet Blue understands there’s a new breed of air travelers, weaned on extreme sports, “Fear Factor”, footage from Abu Gharib, etc. This isn’t merely a commuter flight — it’s a particularly long theme park ride.