(Mets third base coach Razor Shines, hitting the town during his day off)

For the second time in several weeks the spectre of swine flu looms over the MASH unit otherwise known as the New York Mets, only this time there’s hints a player rather than a paying customer has been stricken. While not making light of the alleged stomach bug that’s hit Carlos Beltran and John Maine, surely everyone is aware that big league clubhouses are rife with all manner of infection and infestation. Perhaps the only ailment more profoundly disturbing than J.J. Putz being diagnosed with Aaron Heilman Syndrome would be third-base coach Razor Shines’ advanced stage of Invisibility. Jeremy Reed was gunned down at the plate last night in the third inning of the Mets’ 3-1 loss to Pittsburgh and Zach Duke, clearly oblivious to the precence of coaching veteran Shines’ wild gestures to stop at third. Similar incidents have occurred on far too many occasions this season, leading me to conclude the Mets have no option other than to quarantine Shines (and perhaps for good measure, the delusional person who hired him).