If you guessed that by April 13, the Tigers’ Chris Shelton would have 7 HR’s (compared to the Sultan of Surly’s zero), 14 RBI’s and be hitting a robust .514, well, step right up and claim the CSTB Fantasy Basebal Trophy early, Lucifer.  No amount of pissing in a cup will reveal the real source behind Shelton’s power surge, and that’s because he is clearly in league with Satan.

The Tigers are trailing the White Sox, 10-5 after 5 innings.  Jim Thome has been worshipping the devil for years, however, so there’s nothing surprising about his early results.