While some might argue an exceptional performance in Miami’s 98-90 O.T. victory in Boston last night would ease the memory of LeBron James’ most regrettable on-court moments — to wit, the disappearing acts he pulled during Games 5 and 6 of last year’s Eastern Conference finals — the Cleveland Plan Dealer’s Bill Livingstone begs to differ. Marking tomorrow, May 11, as the one year anniversary of what he calls “Quitness Day” (“when LeBron James practically stood on the deck of the USS Missouri, signing surrender papers against Boston”), the grudgeful scribe asks, “to dishonor James on Quitness Day, what will you quit Wednesday?”
It can’t be anything helpful, like smoking or drinking. There are no civic benefits to Quitness Day, other than the reminding us never again to worship false idols.
I suggest whatever you do Wednesday, you do it left-handed, in tribute to the Elbow of Death that afflicted the self-styled “King” in the Chicago series. So hand out those “left-handed compliments!”
Completing the job is your enemy. Quitness Day, by definition, is about leaving business unfinished.
Why not bust out some Minwax, a furniture refinishing product? Only — ho, ho, what fun — you don’t “finish” the job!
If you are of a culinary bent, start a cake. Take it out half-baked!
Lawn care your thing? Mow a big “Q” in the grass!
You can always quit on NBA telecasts, particularly if Stuart Scott is involved in the halftime show. Stuie was the fool who said he was “proud” of his obnoxious part in that despicable exercise in ego inflation known as “The Decision.”
I also suggest we cut some slack to some of the previous scapegoats for failures in Cleveland sports. Even Jose Mesa (bless his heart) — who tried to win, but choked egregiously instead, in Game 7 of the World Series — looks good next to a quitter.