I’m almost ashamed to admit that I resisted the considerable charms of the D-League Draft last night in favor of a Clockcleaner gig. And while the Philadelphia trio were every bit as entertaining as an evening spent observing Quinn Snyder’s hair, I’m happy to report there’s all sorts of exciting news for the denizens of American’s bush league towns.
Eddie Gill, he of a .353 career shooting percentage over 5 NBA seasons was the no. 1 overall selection by the Colorado 14ers. Hey, if Kaz Matsui could revive a career in Colorado, why not Eddie? Wiznutz’ fave Darin Ham will resurface (sort of) this autumn as a member of the Albuquerque Thunderbirds, while Bakersfield forfeited their first round selection, causing Mel Kiper Jr. to proclaim, “The
Jets Jam don’t really understand how the draft works.”
Austin’s development league entry, the Toros, begin their third season of operation (and first under solo ownership of the San Antonio Spurs) with high hopes that former West Virgina standout Kevin Pittsnogle (above) can distract local attention from the
utter lameness of What Made Milwaukee Famous the opening of the new Alamo Drafthouse.
Speaking of Wizznutzz, he’s completed a Eastern Conference preview just in time for tonight’s Cleveland/New York tilt, and here’s a few highlights from his Knicks prospectus :
KEY OFFSEASON DEVELOPMENT:
The hilarious television pilot “Doubting Thomases” in which Isiah Thomas and Clarence Thomas trade jobs for a whole season. Clarence Thomas takes over the Knicks and immediately segregates the lockerroom, promises to make opponents “respect the bench,” and gets a local italian restaurant to sponsor new uniforms for the whole team. Meantime in DC, Isiah overturns Muller v. Oregon (1908) and in a ‘very special’ epsiode, gets Ruth Bader pregnant. Co-stars: Marla Gibbs!
KEY OFFSEASON MOVEMENT:
Peter Vescey’s face. Now in its second season, the cosmetic surgery is finally beginning to settle.
BEST NY POST HEADLINE ABOUT THE STEPHON MARBURY/INTERN AFFAIR THAT NEVER RAN:
“A LITTLE COITUS NEVER HOITUS!”
2 thoughts on “Coming Soon To Your Editor’s Adopted Hometown : Pittsnoglemania!”
Wizznutzz season preview is murda. I’d forgotten how much I love those guys.
Also, apologies for not covering the D-League draft. I kind of feel like it’s my beat, and I blew it. Sometime in the next ten days: an exclusive David Roth Inside The Game expose on what the fuck Keith Closs is still doing in organized basketball.
Closs is clinging to basketball because he’s even worse at MMA.